How does one guard against Porn?
In the counseling session, a defeated husband won’t give me eye contact, and the wife sits with her arms crossed and she is closed to anything but divorce at this point. Normally folks don’t come into a counseling session and say, “Hey, our marriage is great, we are praying together, and loving the way the Word is penetrating our hearts, so we thought we would stop in and see if you could help us improve on near perfection.” Sadly, it is only after several breakdowns, blow-ups and crashes that the couple emerges from their secret closets and come to the counselee’s chair. When there is nowhere else to go, and no one else to turn to, I get them. Understand, I am thankful they come. I would fear for the couple that did not come. You see, the world would label addiction to pornography as a disease. This however leaves the person with little or no hope. There is no pill to take to cure it. No surgery that can remove it. So what does a diseased person do? Does he just learn to live with it?
The Christian counselor though knows it is no disease, but rather a sin. That is good news. You see, God stepped into the world of men through Jesus Christ, the living Son of God to redeem fallen man from his sin. That is real good news. Sins can be forgiven. Sins can be washed away. Sins, though scarlet, can be made white as snow.
The counselee has been in the pornography loop much longer than they first admit. Normally they have mastered the art of deception. Covering their tracks has become a way of life. Lying to prevent humiliation is now just a way of life. I have heard men who come to counseling suggest that if the women of the church would just learn to dress right, they would have no problems. I agree, women need to dress modestly, and not defraud their brothers in Christ. (Defrauding is simply offering something to someone, that you never intend to give them…too much leg, a blouse cut too low, skirts or pants so tight that there is little left to the imagination) Or the man complains that in the culture we live in, it is near impossible to keep a clean thought life. From billboards, to TV ads to cheerleaders on the ball field, sex is all around. Well, it would be convenient to blame pornography addiction on the culture. If it is the cultures fault, then it is not MY fault! No different than diagnosing it as a disease. If I can’t control the disease, then I cannot be held responsible.
God however, views it quite differently than that! Pornography is sin. It is uncleanness in any shape or term you wish to use. You can’t cry, “I’m just a sinner saved by grace” and hope your magic formula or wave of a popish hand over the sin ends the guilt. If we blame the culture, or any other suspect for this crime, we diminish the sufficiency of Scripture. These chickens must come home to roost: “Against thee, and thee alone have I sinned, God.” You see, the sin begins in the heart. We are guarding the wrong doors if we are only protecting our eyes from the culture around us. Sure, we ought to be very, very wary of what we watch, where we go and who we hang out with, but that is only one door. The door of the heart must be guarded first and foremost.
Jesus did not say, “Ye have heard it said, thou shalt not commit adultery, and that is all there is to it.” Rather, he said, “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery already in his heart.” It doesn’t matter if she is live, in the flesh, or on a screen on your laptop, it is lust. Believers are reminded by Paul that those type folks don’t go to heaven. (Eph 5:3) But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; (Eph 5:5) For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. It ought not to be named among us. Not an inkling of uncleanness.
I commend you who have guarded your home, by insuring that your wives and daughters dress in a godly fashion. I am pleased that you have turned off the TV and are instead reading wholesome literature with your family. You have faithfully practiced Psalm 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: But do you pray “Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart”? Psalm 26:2 God knows our hearts. We can avoid every outward form of temptation and we have become behaviorist, setting up parameters that are really nothing more than fences for us to gaze through and desire what we cannot have. I am not downplaying women’s responsibility to dress appropriately, in fact, a woman has an obligation to not tempt men by their dress. If I believed, however, that my wicked heart was the main problem then there is hope because the Spirit can apply God’s grace, I can repent of my sin, and live in obedience to the Scriptures. And at that point I’m positioned for strength in the battle against lust. I can’t repent of my culture. I can’t make the women of our world dress the way I think is right. But I can repent of sin in my heart. With a renewed mind, transformed, I can live in a way pleasing to my God.
Until the heart is made new, there will be few victories over the sin of pornography. Don’t be fooled into believing that your pretense of religion is any substitute for a new heart. You may sing Psalms and hymns each Sunday, and have your family devotions each day, but if your heart is not guarded with all diligence, eventually what will issue out will be a disgusting picture of who you really are.
The hope is in Jesus Christ. He alone can set a man free. He gives life, but not some shabby life, lived on the wrong side of the tracks, where a shanty is the best you can do. No, he gives us life, more abundant. Confess your failings and put away the deeds of the old man and walk in the Spirit, not after the flesh. There is hope, but it is not in a practice, but a person. The practice follows the person.
In the counseling session, a defeated husband won’t give me eye contact, and the wife sits with her arms crossed and she is closed to anything but divorce at this point. Normally folks don’t come into a counseling session and say, “Hey, our marriage is great, we are praying together, and loving the way the Word is penetrating our hearts, so we thought we would stop in and see if you could help us improve on near perfection.” Sadly, it is only after several breakdowns, blow-ups and crashes that the couple emerges from their secret closets and come to the counselee’s chair. When there is nowhere else to go, and no one else to turn to, I get them. Understand, I am thankful they come. I would fear for the couple that did not come. You see, the world would label addiction to pornography as a disease. This however leaves the person with little or no hope. There is no pill to take to cure it. No surgery that can remove it. So what does a diseased person do? Does he just learn to live with it?
The Christian counselor though knows it is no disease, but rather a sin. That is good news. You see, God stepped into the world of men through Jesus Christ, the living Son of God to redeem fallen man from his sin. That is real good news. Sins can be forgiven. Sins can be washed away. Sins, though scarlet, can be made white as snow.
The counselee has been in the pornography loop much longer than they first admit. Normally they have mastered the art of deception. Covering their tracks has become a way of life. Lying to prevent humiliation is now just a way of life. I have heard men who come to counseling suggest that if the women of the church would just learn to dress right, they would have no problems. I agree, women need to dress modestly, and not defraud their brothers in Christ. (Defrauding is simply offering something to someone, that you never intend to give them…too much leg, a blouse cut too low, skirts or pants so tight that there is little left to the imagination) Or the man complains that in the culture we live in, it is near impossible to keep a clean thought life. From billboards, to TV ads to cheerleaders on the ball field, sex is all around. Well, it would be convenient to blame pornography addiction on the culture. If it is the cultures fault, then it is not MY fault! No different than diagnosing it as a disease. If I can’t control the disease, then I cannot be held responsible.
God however, views it quite differently than that! Pornography is sin. It is uncleanness in any shape or term you wish to use. You can’t cry, “I’m just a sinner saved by grace” and hope your magic formula or wave of a popish hand over the sin ends the guilt. If we blame the culture, or any other suspect for this crime, we diminish the sufficiency of Scripture. These chickens must come home to roost: “Against thee, and thee alone have I sinned, God.” You see, the sin begins in the heart. We are guarding the wrong doors if we are only protecting our eyes from the culture around us. Sure, we ought to be very, very wary of what we watch, where we go and who we hang out with, but that is only one door. The door of the heart must be guarded first and foremost.
Jesus did not say, “Ye have heard it said, thou shalt not commit adultery, and that is all there is to it.” Rather, he said, “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery already in his heart.” It doesn’t matter if she is live, in the flesh, or on a screen on your laptop, it is lust. Believers are reminded by Paul that those type folks don’t go to heaven. (Eph 5:3) But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; (Eph 5:5) For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. It ought not to be named among us. Not an inkling of uncleanness.
I commend you who have guarded your home, by insuring that your wives and daughters dress in a godly fashion. I am pleased that you have turned off the TV and are instead reading wholesome literature with your family. You have faithfully practiced Psalm 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: But do you pray “Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart”? Psalm 26:2 God knows our hearts. We can avoid every outward form of temptation and we have become behaviorist, setting up parameters that are really nothing more than fences for us to gaze through and desire what we cannot have. I am not downplaying women’s responsibility to dress appropriately, in fact, a woman has an obligation to not tempt men by their dress. If I believed, however, that my wicked heart was the main problem then there is hope because the Spirit can apply God’s grace, I can repent of my sin, and live in obedience to the Scriptures. And at that point I’m positioned for strength in the battle against lust. I can’t repent of my culture. I can’t make the women of our world dress the way I think is right. But I can repent of sin in my heart. With a renewed mind, transformed, I can live in a way pleasing to my God.
Until the heart is made new, there will be few victories over the sin of pornography. Don’t be fooled into believing that your pretense of religion is any substitute for a new heart. You may sing Psalms and hymns each Sunday, and have your family devotions each day, but if your heart is not guarded with all diligence, eventually what will issue out will be a disgusting picture of who you really are.
The hope is in Jesus Christ. He alone can set a man free. He gives life, but not some shabby life, lived on the wrong side of the tracks, where a shanty is the best you can do. No, he gives us life, more abundant. Confess your failings and put away the deeds of the old man and walk in the Spirit, not after the flesh. There is hope, but it is not in a practice, but a person. The practice follows the person.
